American: Attention Homer Simpson: you have ten seconds to explain your
          actions before we open fire.
   Homer: Uh...it's my first day!
-- "Simpson Tide"

% Laughter comes from those on the English speaking boat.  Homer then
% proceeds to address the international crews in their native languages.  He
% speaks in Spanish, Chinese, and 'Penguin'.  Back in Washington, however,
% Homer has to face the music before a committee of five admirals.

Admiral #1: Seaman Simpson, your actions have given the Navy a black eye
            from which it may never recover.  I would throw the book at you,
            but I've been indicted on the Tailhook scandal.  Goodbye!
Admiral #2: I, too, would punish you, but, I'm under indictment for
            accepting bribes from military contractors.
Admiral #3: I torpedoed a Carnival Cruise ship.
Admiral #4: Impersonating the First Lady!
-- "Simpson Tide"

% The fifth admiral doesn't even decide to speak, but instead files out,
% like the other four, in non-prosecution.  Homer stands in an empty room,
% except for the janitor, who says "I think you're off the hook." "Woo
% hoo!"